So I haven’t been out here posting nearly as often as I’d hoped, life just seems to get in the way, sometimes good and sometimes not so good, however you just have to take it all in with a grain salt and keep on rolling.
Not sure about you, but for me when life knocks us down I am the type of person who reacts quickly, my mind starts going a hundred miles an hour ! So I’ve learned that no matter what my mind is telling me to do right then and there, I have to take a breather and contemplate what my next action should be. I want to help not hinder. How do I communicate this out, how can I help or do I just need to step back?
I have also learned a bit about myself in that due to all the things we have been thru, I seem to have lost my empathy for those with “minor to me issues” which is really not fair to them. I’m struggling on how to get that back, how do I really make note that another is having traumatic issues from their point of view, when for me, I’m like okay so you broke up with your boyfriend and you have to take a half day off work? Really? Uhm you can’t pay for your dry cleaning? I don’t even own anything that needs to be dry cleaned. So yes I know getting your wisdom teeth pulled hurts but your not really taking two days off work for that right?
When I’m talking to these folks it’s all I can do to really pay attention. So this I’m really working on. I am actually trying to listen and either let them vent or to comment my advice if needed and hope I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings as that’s the last thing I want to do. I love my family and all my friends whole heartedly. I do care about their issues and hope and dreams and do not want to represent that incorrectly.
My biggest problem is trying to understand those who are so very unhappy in their lives, however from outside looking in, they are doing this to themselves, and sometimes they go on and on about the same things over and over, I can only listen to the negativity for so long. I try to live my life on an upbeat and positive note no matter what, sure we all have bad days and sure horrible and tragic things happen to good people, those I can empathize with. It’s the folks who can make a change and chose not to, instead they want everyone around them to feel as badly as they do. These folks just keep talking about how bad they have it and how their lives suck. Well change it! if what you try does not work then move on to something else… there are so many good people and things in life. Concentrate on those, not consistently on the bad.
I have so much going on in my life right now with the terminal illness of my grandson, with my daughters severe health issues, my own recent stroke that I don’t have time to feel bad, it’s like okay time to get things moving along, what research can we look at, what good moments can we share, how many smiles can we get in a day and how can we make this time we have together on the planet the best while we are still here. I just can’t nor will I listen to all the poor poor me stories when we continue to move upwards not down.
I have this shattered concept of my mind. I have the one part that is so bent on making others see the best that I go out of my way at times to do things that they don’t seem to care about, when I could be helping someone who is looking for a way up. I’ve been told multiple times that I have to stop always saying yes as it’s taking away from the things that really matter, my marriage, my children and so forth. So my mind is struggling with okay where are the boundaries? who can I help that will really make a difference and who do I need to step away from…
so there we have it 🙂 my vent and rant for today